The last few weeks I have felt like I've been overly stressed. First on the 23rd of July, I felt as if I was going to die of boredom. Nothing was making me happy, every thing was just irritating the shit out of me. Even Disturbed was getting on my nerves, which is a first cause disturbed never gets on my nerves. So you know some thing is wrong if Disturbed starts to irritate me. Every thing every one did irritated me, I just wanted to be able to talk to them and they wouldn't keep up their end of the convo. I wanted them to talk to me and help get my mind off what ever it was that I was feeling. And they were all busy doing some thing else or they just plain werent talking to me.
On the 30th of July, I had to go to the dentist. When I woke up that day I was fine. But when I got to the dentist after they tightened my braces. The dentist talked to my mother about the possibility of Oral Surgery to correct my underbite. And I had already made the decision to not go though with it. Till that day then the thought was put back into my mind. I don't have to do it if I dont want to. Its just only if I dont want to live with my underbite for the rest of my life. And it really dose not bother me that much. I dont even really notice it much any more. I feel as if the braces have corrected it a bit. But I am not a dentist so I dont know. But I do notice that its not quite as bad as it was about 2 or 3 years ago.
Then today I woke up, and my mother was just annoying the shit out of me. And is it wrong of me to say that even my 15 month old nephew annoied me a bit today? Theres another sign that its bad if my nephew bugs the shit out of me. Its not depression I know what depression is. I mean i have never had to deal with it, thank god, but I know that i am not depressed. Depressed is when you just feel sad all the time. And you dont feel like getting up out of bed. I am not sad I'm more angery then sad. I'm stressed and I think i know why i am feeling like this. I have been stressed cause i do the same thing every single day. I wake up, eat, feed my pets, brush my teeth, then come get on the computer and help my mom baby sit. I watch the same old shit every day, i eat the same old shit every day. I visit the same sites play the same games every single day.
I deal with my mother bitching at me every single day. And I think i just need a change. I need to get out into the world and start doing different things. But I cant do that right now. I am working on getting my GED and then I can get a job. THEN I can get out of this stupid house and start doing different things. And I hope that i wont continue to feel this way for a very long time. I just need some thing different. I need some thing more. I cant keep sitting in this house for much longer its just killing me. And I feel that if i do have to sit in this stupid house for very much longer I am going to explod and go and rip some ones head off. And I feel that, the person that gets their head ripped off will be my mother.
