Drained, HeadachesOk now I think that my mother is a tad bit of a hypocrite. She always tells me not to do something. Like tells me whats the right thing to do and what the wrong thing to do is. But yet she always turns around and dose the exact fucking thing. She is always yelling at me when I get mad at her for picking on me when I am not feeling good. But yet earlier I was joking around with her. I wasnt having an attitude and I wasnt yelling I was talking loud so that should could hear me. Cause even though she tries to deny it. She is fucking deaf. I was fucking joking with her and she thought that I was yelling and having an attitude with her. Its like ok you just fucking yell at me for having an attitude and getting mad when she joke around. But yet she dose the exact fucking thing when I joke around with her. Its like can you say hypocrite?
And another thing I wanted to fix me some thing to eat for lunch. But yet she said in kind of a rude way. Do you have to do that now? And I calmly said no even though I wanted to throw a fucking fit. And I calmly walked out of the room back into mine. But yet she then fixes my sister some thing to eat for lunch and I was like. Now that is not fair. I didnt say it to her but I wanted to. I was like you fix her some thing to eat but yet you wont let me get some thing to eat? Thats just bull shit....Oh wait I already talked about this didnt I? lol eh thats ok.
I wouldnt be surprised if I said I was bout to die of hunger wouldnt be surprised if she said I dont care. Shes done smiler things in the past. Like one time I dont even remember what it was that she said. But I told her she hurt my feelings. And this was when i was like 4 or 5. And she gose I dont care. Thats made me hurt worse that my mother didnt care about my feelings. And then another time she yelled at me. And I started to cry. And I was crying so hard I couldnt breath and my sister was trying to calm me down. And my sister told my mother that I couldnt breath. And my mothers exact words were I dont care.
I was just like shocked out of my fucking mind. I couldnt believe my mother said this to me. She probably dont even remember doing it. But I kind of resent her for it. I do love my mother but its just like she irritates the fucking hell out of me. And I just want to slap her up side her fucking head. I dont know what her fucking problem has been in the past 2 days but she is making me mad. She needs to get over what ever the fuck is wrong with her. Cause I dont think that I can take this any longer. Hopefully if I just avoid her as much as I possibly can. She will just leave me alone. Of course I have to go to the fucking store with her in the morning. I was wanting to watch my Ghost Hunters I taped. Shes shes not going to work any more. I dont get to watch my shows while she is at work any more. And I know that my mother dont like those kinds of scary shows. And i know that she isnt going to let me watch it while she is there. But she could always go into the other room and wait for it to be over. Cause I would really like to see it before SHE deletes it off of the Tivo.
Thats another thing that my mother dose that pisses the fucking hell out of me. When I want to tape some thing on the tivo she gose and either stops it from taping or she then deletes it later on after its been taped. OR she dont advance it so that I can watch it later. And when ever i have any thing Orlando Bloom related set to tape she will let me tape it. But when it comes to taping any thing that has to do with my favorite band Disturbed she stops it from taping. She wont let me tape it and I dont know why. She better get used to it now. I like them and there is nothing that she can do about it. I really wanted to see this headbangers ball or whatever it was that came on. But she stopped it from taping.
She has a problem with me liking Disturbed. And having a crush on the lead singer David Draiman. She things he is creepy. And she dont like the fact that they swear in the songs. Well mother i am fucking 17 years old. I think i am old enough to listen to songs that have swears in them. And her exact words where: Their to dark and domestic. But then when i let her read the song meanings she came to me and goes: Well their not as bad as I thought. No shit mother, really now isnt that what i have been telling you this whole fucking time? And she is going on about how this kind of music will effect me whether i know it or not. How it will make me depressed and violent. And I think in order for these kinds of songs to make you this way you have to be a violent person by nature. And I am a sweet down to earth calm girl by nature. The only time i get violent is when I am mad. But i never have and never will take my anger out on any one. I take my anger out on objects. Thats how i have bruised my hands up.
And I think that once you know the meanings behind the songs. And you know what they are really saying and no by what the lyrics say. Then it dont effect you in any kind of violent way. And I dont believe this fucking bull shit. People blaming music, video games and movies for their violent behavior. I believe you are already a violent person. Your just getting idea from video games and movies. I play tom clancy's rainbow six, black hawk down, call of duty and tomb raider. Which are games where you are killing humans and all sorts of animals. And I always listen to rock, metal, nu metal such as Disturbed. And none of which have made me any violent. I also watch a shit load of violent movies. And they dont make me wanna go out and kill people and be all violent. But what ever, my mother dont really know what shes talking about. lol
Well any ways my fucking fingers are hurting from typing so much. So I am gonna stop the post here. And I will blog some more later. Hopefully my next blog wont be about my mother. I hope to blog about a couple other things. Wanna get on the whole ex subject. Hopefully I can do that next time. Cause I would just really like to rant about it and get it off my chest. Hope you enjoyed my blog.
~Peace out
The Disturbed 0ne
Aggravated (bout to blow)
